I just went to my favorite sandwich shop in Austin…

By Seamus O'Sparks on June 10, 2015 — 1 min read

I just went to my favorite sandwich shop in Austin and I got my usual: 40 inch turtle on hardtack. It was delicious. I also got chips, but not pork rinds. I looked at the pork rinds and on the bag it said, ‘Combining the best tasting ingredients with rich pride.’ So, I looked at the ingredients and they said: Pork Rinds, Salt. So one of the “best tasting ingredients,” then, would by pig skin. I wonder how they determine what the best tasting pig skin is? I wish I had that job-spending all my days licking pigs. I’d lick hogs all day and drink Bosco. At night, I would make love vigorously. Hey, does anyone know what the punishment for sleeping with a hobo is in Texas?

Posted in: Cuisine

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.