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Hey, if you’re at a belly dancing performance | Seamus O'Sparks

Hey, if you’re at a belly dancing performance

By Seamus O'Sparks on February 4, 2015 — 1 min read

Hey, if you’re at a belly dancing performance and the belly dancer performing makes eye contact with you and smiles (a friendly perfunctory smile) during the course of their performance, is it better to smile back or remain expressionless? Here’s why I ask: I find ALL belly dancers to be intolerably sexy. There’s something about liberated flesh and unctuous confidence that puts my thoughts right in the satyr’s lap. Consequently, if I smile and make eye contact with them-knowing I have a heart full of lust and Sammy Hagar licks-I feel creepy. However, If I just stare back blankly, I feel like a static heel. You can see my dilemma. So what’s the best way to respond? Is it better to smile my priapistic smile and reveal the wretched gutter nature of my heart, or feign indifference and come across like the typical gelded plasma slurping waspy fud? I just want to do the right thing here. To be rude or be lewd-that’s the question, eh? Any insight or wisdom would be much appreciated. I need to be straightened out here people and you are the only friends I got…

Posted in: Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.