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Hey-there are 49 people going to the event tonight | Seamus O'Sparks

Hey-there are 49 people going to the event tonight

By Seamus O'Sparks on December 31, 2014 — 1 min read

Hey-there are 49 people going to the event tonight. I think it would be real swell if there were 50. So, if you have the finger licks to make it work, could you please tell the screen that you are going? Even if you aren’t going, maybe you can help me out? Even if you aren’t going and you aren’t coming. Even if you’re going off half-cocked on the booze and advertising-if you’re fighting the cancer or jerking off on the wall-if you’re worried that the Chinese will beat us in the stretch or that the Russia is creating a new breed of super ape soldiers-if you’re pulling your hair out in bloody clumps or beating your head against your wife’s cast iron groin-even if you’re eating biscuit dough and wondering what the hell John of Patmos was twisting his balls over-even if you have better things to do, better lives to live, better beds to die in-even if you are troubled by the way your muscles tingle when your neighbor’s buxom girlfriend gardens and jiggles in the nude at exactly the same time you take your dog out for his morning crap-even if you are winning at life and losing your mind and even if your rectum has painful spasms and you have no plans to see a doctor anytime soon, please go ahead and tell the lie…tell the nice machine that you are going. tell the lie…:)

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The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.