Nothing gets me down! I have an unshakeable belief in the possible and a firm commitment to the extraordinary. That’s the cornerstone of my superstentialist world view. Now then, there was a heavyset All-American couple in their 60s who came into my store yesterday. It looked like they shared a single lung. When I told them that the Christmas items were all 40% off, the gentleman clenched his brow and said, “Hmmmm, not 50%?” And his tone was somewhere between stinky and Richard Nixon when he spoke about Jews. So I replied that, for them, I would go 150 % off of all Christmas items. That sucked the fierce right out of them. They were so mixed up by my response that they began to weep and flew out of the shop on a toadstool. Later a bum with red dreadlocks bitched at me for only having a menthol cigarette for him. He belched, blowing vodka and contempt down my throat. All in all, it was a pretty good Saturday, though; not one person had the decency to offer to blow my brains out.