My offer to SEED one of you resulted in very few takers

By Seamus O'Sparks on April 26, 2014 — 1 min read

What a bummer. My offer to SEED one of you resulted in very few takers…I guess there was no “In” at the womb…Just like Christmas, only backwards and with a speech impediment…I wonder if that means that my little Hucklebilly is destined to be the Anti-Christ. A lisping Anti-Christ. Or maybe my little Hucklebetty is the cheese? Can a woman be the Anti-Christ? If my first wife is any indication then yes, yes they can (hold for laughter). I can’t believe this. WHY, GOD, WHY? How would Atticus Finch handle this dark news? Is my little sprout really going to lead Gog and Magog in unholy insurrection? Oh well, I suppose as a parent you always want your kids to do better than you did.

Posted in: Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.