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I feel like Jeff Goldblum in THE FLY | Seamus O'Sparks

I feel like Jeff Goldblum in THE FLY

By Seamus O'Sparks on April 15, 2014 — 1 min read

Oy, what a spring. I feel like Jeff Goldblum in THE FLY. Only I’m not losing my fingernails or teeth. And I haven’t had any bursts of manic super strength and stamina. And no strange hairs are poking through my back. And I’m not able to corrode things with my puke. I’m certainly not having amazing sex with Geena Davis (yet). No twitches or urges to eat my weight in sweet buns. I haven’t caused any baboons to turn inside out. I’m not expanding scientific frontiers or entering into any abnormal pupations. I can’t punch through wood or pick-up trashy women in bars (much to my chagrin). So what does that leave us with? Nothing. Thanks for wasting everybody’s time Facebook…Now I feel like Rory Calhoun 🙁

Posted in: Facebook, Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.