Warning: Use of undefined constant DATABASE_SERVER - assumed 'DATABASE_SERVER' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/wjl7ay88puji/domains/seamus.wileykoepp.com/html/wp-config.php on line 32
Mike Tyson is hawking his book | Seamus O'Sparks

Mike Tyson is hawking his book

By Seamus O'Sparks on November 12, 2013 — 1 min read

Mike Tyson is hawking his book. And somewhere there is a drunk Alien telecoming back to his galaxy to say, “Yeah, dude, they’re ALL fucking waterheads ’round here.” Or maybe not…Maybe this creature-let’s call him Gabe…Maybe Gabe is pouring himself an eye-opener and dialing in some porn and in between his huminuh huminuh is thinking, “Big tits and small thoughts and loud opinions and everyone is a Star-Spangled credit to creation.” And maybe Lucifer is rogering Lady Death thinking, “From here on out it’s sodomy and collecting interest and lazy days and then, heh-heh, Meggido.” And the Marxists are saying, “We lost to this shit?” And a Tiger Shark pup is devouring his siblings in utero and Adam is coked-up and standing outside of paradise yelling at Eve, “I told you I didn’t like fruit, bitch!”… As for me, well, I’m gonna’ buy Mike Tyson’s book.

Posted in: Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.