Brace yourselves for an astounding new anthropological theory!

By Seamus O'Sparks on June 7, 2013 — 1 min read

Brace yourselves for an astounding new anthropological theory! A couple of scientists in Spain have hypothesized that modern man did indeed bring about the extinction of Neanderthal. Their theory is this-we ate ’em. Gobbled them up all gone-gone. I love this theory. It explains a lot. Homo Sapien Sapien means man the double wise. Homo Sapien Neanderthalis means, apparently, man the double delicious. Study also shows that many non-sub-Saharan Africans, particularly those of European stock, carry a percentage of Neanderthal DNA. So we shtupped them…then we ate ’em. SAPIENCE! The ape in sapience… Man the double wise!!! What double douche bags! Hey, read my post from yesterday and tell me if you think my heart has gotten too dark. I might be anemic…

Posted in: History

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.