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Do you speak in English? | Seamus O'Sparks

Do you speak in English?

By Seamus O'Sparks on September 28, 2012 — 1 min read

Do you speak in English? If you do then this is a VERY important day for you. On this day, in 1066 C.E./A.D., William The Bastard invaded England. That’s quite a name, William The Bastard…I guess they didn’t pull many punches back in those days. Junior High must’ve been pretty rough for the little Bastard. Anyway, that Bastard clobbered those sissy Saxons and merrie olde Angeland was forged.The …fusion of the Proto-Franco-Norse Norman dialect with the Anglo-Saxon vulgar speak resulted in our modern tongue. So when you say things like: “Hey!” or “Piss off cop!” or “Will you have sex with me and my friend?” or “CHASCA PLAYS TOMORROW NIGHT AT THE RED EYED FLY IN AUSTIN!” you should take a moment and give thanks to the Bastard. And actions speak louder than words so, today, lets all go out and be the biggest bastards that we can be! For glory and for Gondor, YES YES!!! Come to our show tomorrow night you BASTARDS!

Posted in: Chasca

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.