I was drinking out of the toilet in the men’s room last night. It was at a place called The Dusty Ogre. It’s my favorite hang out y’all. I can say things there like, “Crack is whack” and “Get you some!” And people get it, you know? So in walks this chubby woman with an overbite. And we start kissing and choking each other-like you do. Then suddenly the lights went out and I felt a commotion. Then the lights came on and me and this lady were totally naked and super glued together. Glued together in flagrante delicto. We had to eat about 12 jalapeño burgers each just to sweat ourselves free. Now we’re in love…and Chasca is a very good band.