I was menaced by dogs on my morning run

I was menaced by dogs on my morning run. These were mean dogs, all growling and baring their teeth. Some cur even pulled a bowie knife on me. One of the dog’s fat devil owners came out and I said, “Can you ask Cerberus to heel, please?” He said, “He ain’t gonna’ hurt yew.” I moved on and his dog bit me. The fat devil said, ‘He’s never done that before.’ I said, “Yeah, well, I’ve done this lots of times.” And I gave a whistle and scores of transvestites came out of the hills and gave this mutt and his miserable master such a make-over that they immediately became closer to god.