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I was menaced by dogs on my morning run | Seamus O'Sparks

I was menaced by dogs on my morning run

By Seamus O'Sparks on October 18, 2011 — 1 min read

I was menaced by dogs on my morning run. These were mean dogs, all growling and baring their teeth. Some cur even pulled a bowie knife on me. One of the dog’s fat devil owners came out and I said, “Can you ask Cerberus to heel, please?” He said, “He ain’t gonna’ hurt yew.” I moved on and his dog bit me. The fat devil said, ‘He’s never done that before.’ I said, “Yeah, well, I’ve done this lots of times.” And I gave a whistle and scores of transvestites came out of the hills and gave this mutt and his miserable master such a make-over that they immediately became closer to god.

Posted in: Animals

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.