I was out last night. I met this huge Swedish girl. She was 6’8 with hands like hammers. I bought her a pint of chum, a mug of fizz, and a decanter of flow. She taught me to say in Swedish, “Ooompf, the chick from ABBA ate my sandwich.” She followed me into the bathroom. She forced me at fingerpoint to wear my pants on my head and sing “Dancing Queen” in front of the whole room. I think she gave me sea-lice.
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