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Last night I got lost and I went to this house to see if I could use the phone | Seamus O'Sparks

Last night I got lost and I went to this house to see if I could use the phone

By Seamus O'Sparks on July 20, 2011 — 1 min read

Last night I got lost and I went to this house to see if I could use the phone. The house belonged to a mad European scientist. He drugged me and when I awoke he had attached me to two other girls in a most vile manner. He wanted to create a human pretzel. We all screamed and wept and he shouted Nazi slogans at us. It was, perhaps, the single greatest night of my life!

Posted in: Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.