I was in the desert with a bunch of apes

I was in the desert with a bunch of apes. I touched the big shiny black obelisk even though the sign said, ‘Don’t Touch.’ I wound up at a place 30 years ago called Punchy Burger where they had erected a potato bar in my memory. The even had chives. I turned into a star-fetus and was included in the price of the potato bar. When the sign says, ‘Do not touch’ the obelisk, you’d better not touch the obelisk.