I was in the desert with a bunch of apes

By Seamus O'Sparks on May 13, 2011 — 1 min read

I was in the desert with a bunch of apes. I touched the big shiny black obelisk even though the sign said, ‘Don’t Touch.’ I wound up at a place 30 years ago called Punchy Burger where they had erected a potato bar in my memory. The even had chives. I turned into a star-fetus and was included in the price of the potato bar. When the sign says, ‘Do not touch’ the obelisk, you’d better not touch the obelisk.

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The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.