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The smelly, hirsute she-cannibal lunged at the toothy Cossack with the intention of having him put babies in her | Seamus O'Sparks

The smelly, hirsute she-cannibal lunged at the toothy Cossack with the intention of having him put babies in her

By Seamus O'Sparks on April 13, 2011 — 1 min read

The smelly, hirsute she-cannibal lunged at the toothy Cossack with the intention of having him put babies in her and then, possibly, feasting on his flesh. She was an inbred product of generations of deformed anthropophagites who dwelled in the Ural Mountains, somewhere in the back, and he was the dashing son of the Zaporozhian Atman. In any case it was clear that their relationship would be full of hang-ups.

Posted in: Relationships

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.